Chiberia: the new frontier

As the sun sets on the record-shattering day that was today, January 6th, 2014,  I must reflect. I feel this was one of those days that’s going to be a cultural memory. Like, “Mom, what was is like that one day in Chicago when it was really cold and you were young and dressed well and didn’t have wrinkles?”. 

I mean, hopefully that last part isn’t included in my future child’s question. Hopefully I will have used enough sunscreen and moisturized, but I digress. 

Everyone has been telling me to not set even one foot outdoors, or else my nose will shrivel up and fall off. So, without further delay, here is an overview of the very riveting activities that took place over the course of my day:

8:26- Woke up, looked outside. Saw appx. 1 person on sidewalk. Got really cold standing by the window, so I went and made some coffee. 

9:30- Ate some rice crispies, looked outside again, got really cold again. Made some tea.

11:45- Decided to try that science experiment where you throw boiling water into the air and it turns into steam. It worked. 

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12:15- Wanted to brave the elements and try going outside. Bundled up and walked two blocks to Chipotle. The Chipotle was 150% worth it, but I got a headache on the way home, I couldn’t breathe, and my roommate’s glasses froze. But again, worth it. Plus, now I can say what -38 degree weather feels like. So…there’s that. 

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1:45- Interviewed my friends and roommates to see what they wore outdoors today. I wanted to get an accurate portrayal of what I’m beginning to call “Polar Vortex chic”, for all of you non-midwesterners out there. 

Alex- works downtown, had to commute on the train to work this morning. Poor soul. For her trip across the Chiberian tundra, Alex chose “slipper socks, Uggs, jeans, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt, a giant coat, men’s oversized gloves, a scarf for my face, a scarf for my neck, my hood and a hat”. 

Katie- like most people in the greater Chicagoland area, Katie was able to work from home today. However, she too ventured out for her lunch break, and wore: “black cotton leggings, men’s sweatpants, a tank top under a fleece-lined thermal under a fleece jacket, winter socks, snow boots, a knee length down coat, a hat, a scarf covering her face and gloves”. On her trek, Katie really wanted to feel the elements, however she bundled too much and was actually sweating. 

Agnes- my lovely roommate was able to work from home as well, but during our journey to Chipotle, Agnes donned the following articles of clothing: “a knitted pom-pom hat, a knee-length Chicago coat, a knit scarf around the outside of my hood covering my entire face, gloves, a knit sweater, a long sleeve thermal shirt, a tank top, sweatpants, fleece-lined leggings, full butt underwear, knee-high skiing socks, and fleece-lined boots”. 

My friend Chris, the only male contributor to today’s edition of Polar Vortex fashions, really got his layer on, while commuting (at night…yuck) to his job. Chris wore, “a long sleeve thermal shirt, a flannel button up, a Columbia heat layer coat, a winter coat, long johns, khakis, a hat, gloves, a fleece scarf, wool socks and Timberland boots”. Get your warm on, boy. 

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Finally, my other roommate Del knows the true meaning of polar vortex chic. She actually had an outfit change today. She’s just a trendsetter like that. First, her outdoor look, “a hat, chunky scarf, huge blanket sweater, fleece-lined leggings, t-shirt, swishy pants, men’s sweatpants, fleece slipper socks, boots, gloves, knee-length coat and my hood up”. When she got home, she added a few more layers, which really completed the outfit. To continue her work from home, she added a heating pad and a blanket. Tres chic. 

4pm-6pm- I watched multiple episodes of Homeland and the Best of Jimmy Fallon (for the second time) and then I ate dinner. Dinner consisted of things we had in the fridge. 

7:45- I sat down to watch the remainder of TV we had left (Masters of Sex, the season finale of Homeland) and the very serious 2nd episode of the 2-part Bachelor premiere. 

So, there you have it. When the weather gets rough, I get EXTRA lazy. And you know what? I don’t care. I have a nice cozy apartment that I pay a utility bill for, so if I want to stay indoors and not brush my teeth until noon, so be it!

Hope everybody stayed warm today and were “productive” as they worked from home. 

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